If you must hold yourself up to your children as an object lesson,
hold yourself up as a warning and not as an example.
~ George Bernard Shaw
A parent's job isn't done until they've sufficiently embarrassed their children in public. Isn't that why we parents were put on this earth, after all? I think for me maybe it was when Dad wore his blue polyester "leisure suite," you know, the matching jacket and pants. Or maybe it was those black socks with shorts. I asked my kids when it was that I embarrassed them the most – there were too many to narrow down to one!
My job here is done. 😉
So, I came up with the top ten most embarrassing parent moments. Disclaimer: Author cannot be held liable for your child's therapy bills – giggle at your own risk.
10. The spit wash – licking your thumb and wiping dirt off their face. Hey, and if it's chocolate, lick your thumb again and say Yum!
9. Ingratiating yourself with their friends by trying to talk teen slang. Groovy Dude!
8. Friend all their buds and post their baby pictures on your Facebook page. Bare Baby Butts.
7. Regale their friends with stories of cute little things your child said when they were little. Mispronounced words, like "pissgetti" and "Let's get Farching," will really crack them up and increase your child's popularity.
6. Pick up your kids from school with black workout Spandex. If they give you too much grief, just change into the leopard print ones.
5. Yell at the refs while they're playing ball. "What are you, Blind?!"
4. Give your husband a big 'ole smooch. But, hey, keep it clean.
3. Serve cupcakes with blue icing for their birthday. Blue teeth for all.
2. Take them bra shopping with you. Try on the bra over your clothes while passers-by snicker at how absurd you look.
And the number one way to embarrass your children:
1. Shout loudly as you drive by their school: "Don't forget to wipe properly, those stains will never come off, wipe front to back."
I made this for the Ribbon Carousel Challenge #15 – Getting Edgy. Jessica Diedrich wants us to get in touch with our “edgier side”. So rip your paper, distress your edges, use an edgy character or image . . . just do something “edgy”. I, of course, decided to make a card to make my children go over the edge, you know, because that's my job. Just remember that your creation must have ribbon, bakers twine, jute twine, lace, or basically, anything that comes on a spool.
Oh, and check this out! Corinna, the fabulous entrepreneur behind the Ribbon Carousel just got married! And the bride is giving US a wedding present. Everything in the store is on sale for 20% off until Friday, August 12. Just use the coupon code WEDDING when you check out. She'll be on her Family Honeymoon and won't be shipping until she gets back on Friday. Congratulations, Corinna!
Don't you love this stamp image?! It's one of my favs over at Eat Cake Graphics. It's available in rubber, mounted and unmounted. Be sure to check out the rest of Holly's summertime selection. So fun!
- Stamps – Eat Cake Graphics 1054-M The Parents
- Paper – Stampin' Up! cardstock, Basic Grey Out of Print, Neenah
- Color Mediums – Memento Ink, Copics, Stampin' Up! Pastes
- Fibers – Yummy May Arts ribbon (Yay! Our sponsors for FTR18 Party)
- Embellishments – Clear Button, Basic Grey Bow
- Tools – Cuttlebug folder, Nestabilities, My Favorite Things Notched Tag Die
- Sketch – Swet Sunday Sketch SSSC129
Mortify your kids enough, and you’ll help fuel them to do what they were put here for — to make their way in the world without us. So, have you done your job today? Let's hear it. What do you do that makes them cringe?