Christmas

Chili represents your three stages of matter:
solid, liquid, and eventually gas.
~ Roseanne, May 1992, spoken by character Dan Conner

Wha ha ha . . . I AM the master of disguising gifts.

I love tormenting my brother. That's what younger sisters do, right? Since I'm in Texas and he's in Indiana, I sent him a can of nice Texas Red, Roadhouse chili with beans, "great over rice." What else could he possible need? Better than socks, right?

But, when he popped open the can, it had a few surprises, like gin, Hershey Kisses, and some dinero for his next big adventure.

I had to get this in the mail last weekend, but, before I did, I took a few quick pictures for you all to show you how to russel up some good TexMas chili surprise.

First, you'll need to round up a smooth-edge can opener. You can find them just about anywhere (Pampered Chef; Williams and Sonoma; Bed, Bath and Beyond; even Sears) or just Google "smooth-edge can opener."

Turn up your speakers and grab a seat in the Catered Crop Theater for my how-to video – Western silent-movie style.

In keeping with our family Christmas traditions, my TexMas Chili Surprise included a poem.

You can have this little poem as a free download. Just click here {Canned Chili Surprise} and then right click and save it.

Merry TexMas Brother!

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   The Lord loveth a cheerful giver.
   He also accepteth from a grouch.
      ~ Catherine Hall

Welcome back to my "Friday Five." It's just my crazy collage of gossip, stop-the-presses news, and random thoughts for giggles and grins.

Wha ha ha (insert evil, maniacal laugh) . . . I am the master of disguising gifts. When I start wrapping presents I get into the Zone. My creative juices start boiling over with ideas to disguise my gifts. Since we're wrapping presents tonight, I thought this Friday Five should be all about the wrappings.

Grin #1 - Divert, Disguise and Deceive. Because I like you guys and I know I can trust you to use these tips for their evil intent, here are a few of the disguises I've given gifts.

Put dried beans or corn in the box to make it rattle nicely when they shake the box. I can't do this anymore – my family it totally onto me.
Put a brick in the box to disguise the weight.
If it's a really big present, like a bike, hide the gift somewhere else and, instead, wrap a small box with the first clue to their scavenger hunt to find the gift. My sister is the master of this.
If you have someone who doesn't just pinch and shake but smells the package, too (yes, we have one of those), spray it with some pungent perfume.
Before you wrap a box, put a small pillow on top of the outside of the box and then wrap it. Yes, it takes advanced skill to wrap this present, but it gives it a great shape.
An empty paper towel roll (or wrapping paper roll) is a great thing to stuff small presents in and completely disguise the shape.
Before you gift wrap a book or CD, wrap socks or a sweater around it to mask it's shape and texture.

Photo Credit: Uncommon Goods (one of my favorite places to shop).

Grin #2 – Card Them. Who doesn't like gift cards? But then, they're not that sexy to open on Christmas. I gave a gift card this Christmas to someone dear (no, I'm not telling who) but I wanted to give it in a non-traditional way. I did some web browsing and found some terrific suggestions. After Sunday I'll show you what I ultimately created, but in the mean time . . . check these out.

CreditCard.com's 10 Creative Ways to Wrap Gift Cards . My favorite is the DIY Gift Club of the Month. Purchase 12 gift cards and attach a gift card to each month of a calendar. Vary the selection by month and season: home improvement in the Spring, a car wash in the Fall, warm coffee (Starbucks) in the winter, ice cream in the summer . . .
Happy Clippings' 12 Creative Wrapping Ideas for Gift Cards offers some cute ideas of little trinkets to wrap with the gift card, like nail polish to accompany a gift card for a spa.

Photo Credit: Happy Clippings.

Grin #3 – You're a Poet – You Know It. I know, if you didn't think I was weird before, you sure will now. My sister and I sometimes write poems to go with our gifts. Like the time my sister gave me chocolate and explained in a poem that is was so I'd get fat and she'd get all the guys. Clever, that sister.

I think the first one I wrote was back in 1982. I wrapped up a little photo album to give to Mom and Dad after all the other presents were opened. Inside was this poem:

Here's a special album for those wonderful shots
of precious grand babies – it hold quite a lot.
"But we have no grandchildren," you might reply.
Yet one's coming this summer, perhaps in July . . .

So On this Christmas with our family near.
we announce that a young McClain soon will be here.
And the last gift this Christmas is God's gift so dear.

Yep! That's how we told them about their first grandchild. I'm no Robert Frost, but that year there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

Grin #4 – Scrap the Paper. Think outside the box about how you wrap the box. Here are some alternatives to wrapping paper. (Just click on the pictures to see more).

Photo Credit: Country Living and Ramshackle Glam.

Old maps
Fabric or shirts
Brown paper bags
Sheet music (with some jingle bell embellishments)
Newspaper can really be quite elegant. Just click on these thumbnail pictures to see more.

Photo Credits: Adelle, Country Living, Alora Handmade, Apartment Therapy, Mistybliss, Oh Hello Friend

Grin #5 – So, now, it's Christmas morning and all your gorgeous and/or devious wrappings are all cast aside – bound for the dumpster. My mother-in-law used to make fun of me because, if I see a craft potential in any discarded, used wrapping paper and ribbon, I retrieve it from the trash. Hey – eco friendly, right? Yeah, well Martha thinks so, too. Martha Stewart's compiled 17 Leftover Gift Wrap Ideas.

Photo credit: Martha Stewart Santa's Workshop.

Have fun!